Insights from the Sofa
A two-part newsletter this month – interestingly both perspectives come from lying on the sofa! Enjoy!
I wrote the second part of this newsletter a couple of weeks ago – hence the reference to the Wimbledon Championships and have since been flat on my back as I put a rib out. One of the most painful experiences I have ever had and an interesting time as I have literally been unable to do anything. As you know, if you read my newsletter regularly, I am always asking what I need to be learning from any situation in my life. Just before the injury happened I had been exploring how I know my own value and how much achievements and performance ties into it. The feeling of when I do well I know I am valuable – which I am sure many of you can relate to – was something I wanted to explore. How would it feel to feel valuable without doing anything? Well I asked the question and the next day I was stuck on the sofa and totally unable to do anything! Be careful what you wish for☺
Lesson? Sure. And it has been interesting to see how my mood varied as I went through this process. However what was great was that I began to see that even in my incapacitated state, having to ask people for help, I still was valuable. As a friend pointed out – I gave her the experience of being able to help me and feel good about herself. It has been a time of just being, and I have come to realise that sometimes that is as important as the things we set out to achieve. Once we know our value without 'doing' we can ‘do’ without attachment, which in turn makes us much more powerful and effective.
So saying that we all do want to achieve and my other time spent on the sofa watching Wimbledon gave me a great insight into that.
I love tennis and love the cross of over between coaching and sport. Great sports people have a coach – someone to look in on their game and help them get the best out of themselves. As a coach that is how I see my work with my clients.
One thing that has struck me in all the interviews this year is the phrase ‘point by point’. Everyone, the players, the commentators, the coaches, have talked about focusing point-by-point. Playing each point for all it is worth and when it was over focusing on the only the next one. Not dwelling on what didn’t work or getting nervous about what is to come, but simply to have a one pointed focus and playing their best in that moment. That is how these games are won and again – the similarity of the tennis game and the game of life shows up.
How one pointed are we as we are being challenged in the current climate? Are we being taken off focus by fears or limiting beliefs that we lose sight of where we want to go and what we need to do to ‘play’ the game of life? Many people I am speaking with right now are grappling with learning to live life differently – like there are new rules and the challenge is staying steady through this time. Are we being the best we can in any moment? It reminds me of what Esther Hicks says in the Teachings of Abraham, that our main responsibility is to watch our focus and our thoughts and ensure that we are doing whatever we need to do to feel good in each moment.
As I sat and watched the players in the tournament I wondered how they stay so focused match after match. Wouldn’t it get challenging or tiring or even boring after a while? Again passion came into play. Seeing the player ranked 82 beating one of the top seeds, the fuel she had was passion. She loved the game, loved the challenge and that is why she could stay in that focused zone and win against all odds. And for those who are at the top of their game it is not the money that motivates, but the love of the game. That is something to contemplate at this time.
Is your life full of the love of the game? Or are you feeling that you no longer know what game you want to play? Do you feel like you have lost the rule book and the things that have served you in the past no longer work? Life is the play of consciousness and to make it an enjoyable play we need to be following our passions with a one pointed ‘point-by-point’ focus. Are you?