| Who is most important you - or them? |
We are often taught to put others first when making decisions, it leads to a polite, caring society. However it also leads to frustration, resentment and a feeling of victim when we put others first to the detriment of ourselves. When a truly personal decision is important then the only people who should count are the people it directly entails. Point in case I was talking to a client about her wedding plans. Many people wanted different things for different reason and everybody had an opinion as to what the wedding should be like, who should be going and the arrangements of the celebration. When we talked it through it became clear that in fact none of the options that had been discussed were what the couple wanted. They began to see that it was only because they were trying to please other people, people who they loved dearly, that they were contemplating a wedding that did not give them pleasure and only felt stressful. So we came up with a formula to help the decision making process, a wedding should be special to the couple and no one else. It should feel exciting and relaxed. It was their day. I am not saying we should disregard other opinions, but if we start living our lives to please others then we are setting ourselves up for a fall. This life is ours to experience, ours to explore and ours to enjoy. It is only a belief that we have to live it to please others and as with all beliefs we can choose it either believe it or not. I choose not. I have found that by making decisions for me that in fact it is always the best decision. Our true friends only want our happiness and, even if it doesn’t seem so at first, most of our families are the same. By showing the world how happy we are with our own decisions the world applauds, and joins in. Live life full on, fulfilling your dreams not another’s, and you will live your life to the end with a WOW, that was a good one, feeling. |