THE BIGGER PICTURE
A blog to explore what it means to live life from a spiritual perspective - the bigger picture. Using personal stories that uplift, inspire, encourage and celebrate our incredible lives.
In my work as a Life Fulfilment Coach and Personal Empowerment Mentor, I help others identify their dream and achieve it. I love helping people reconnect with themselves & their values and seeing how they can purposefully create and live fulfilling lives. Not only do I use all the coaching tools I have to hand, but I also come from the perspective that when we are aware of the bigger picture, aware of who we are, what we think and how we feel, we have influence over what we bring into our life. The next trick is to keep that awareness in everyday life. This blog is to share my experiences in the pursuit of conscious awareness and inspire you to do the same.
If you enjoyed this blog please do feel free to forward it to someone you think would enjoy it to.
I had an enforced stop recently, a broken nose that has slowed me down.
Hitting the plate glass window was the metaphorical stop (quite
dramatic really) but I have come to see that it was part of a bigger
play.
Sometimes things happen in our lives that seem annoying,
you wish you could turn the clock back ten seconds and replay that bit,
but often when we have the gift of hindsight we can see that it does
interweave with the fabric of our lives.
My coming to a full
stop was part of a bigger need to slow down and stop running ahead. I
was so focused on discovering what was next I wasn’t living what was
now. Again the “live in the present’ message is loud and clear, be here
now, enjoy every minute whatever I am doing.
By being this still
I have come to see that I am still driven by a need to move forward,
achieve, do bigger and better things. Now I am not saying that we
should not want to move forward, but what I have seen is that we need
to examine the motivation for needing the movement. By focusing on the
future what is not being seen in the present? This also ties in with
satisfaction, we rarely are slow enough to be satisfied with our
everyday lives. Sure if we consciously stop and ask ourselves how we
feel right now we can touch in with that satisfaction, but we aren’t
aware of it all the time. We need to fall in love with the life we
have.
By becoming this slow in my life I am more in touch with
that satisfaction than I have ever been. Joseph Campbell’s “Follow Your
Bliss” phrase seems more doable now. The funny thing is that right now
follow your bliss is not a big production in my life. I’m not doing
anything huge, or new or exciting, I am more keeping things ticking
over; doing what comes. However, by being still within that scenario I
am finding my bliss in the mundane. At first I worried that I’d never
‘get going’ again but I have come to realise that out of this slowness
will arise a new direction and I’ll be ready for it when it comes.
I
don’t recommend you follow my route of a broken nose to enforce a slow
down – quite painful and the bruises are impressive! I do recommend you
ask yourself, do I need to slow my life down (or slow down within my
life), do I need to relax back into what is happening in my everyday
life and find the bliss in mundane? It can feel challenging but gifts
within that space are huge.
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Well we arrived back from our road trip – over 8000 kms through Europe
taking us to visit friends in France, Holland, Denmark, Germany and
back through France again. It was a fantastic (if not slightly crazy)
experience.
One location that stayed with me for a while was the Millau Bridge
in France. I’m not normally a great one for modern things – give me
medieval towns any day, but the vision and boldness of this bridge just
wowed me. It is tallest bridge in the world and over 2.5 kms in length
stretching out over the Tarn valley. What was so interesting was seeing
all the other entrants for the design. They were all very ‘normal’, not
so inspiring and to be honest a bit boring. The one that stands there
today is awe inspiring. The lines of this bridge, the way it seems to
flow, the sheer magnitude of the technological achievement is huge.
In
the video showing the building of this bridge there was a moment
(amongst many) when they moved the two decks from opposite directions
together, 245 ms above the valley floor (there was the obligatory
bottle of champagne that got smashed as the two pieces came together)
exactly, to the millimetre. Fantastic to see, but also it was exactly
what you’d expect.
The vision of this bridge is a great
example of going out on a limb. There was no playing safe, no tempering
things down to control, just simple pure vision and the heart to see it
built.
We so often water down our visions, make them safer,
keep them within our comfort zone and then wonder why we don’t feel
alive, fulfilled, inspired. Well that bridge was an example to me that
to create a thing of great beauty, to fulfil a dream, to make something
that is the full expression of yourself, you simply have to go out on
limb. Have your heart in your mouth and know, that with that level of
focus and creativity, that it simply has to meet in the middle.
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Just short blog this week in between the finishing off of tasks and
packing! Holiday time is upon us and we are going to play on a European
road trip from Spain to Denmark and back.
I told a client about
this trip in our conversation this morning and he said “how wonderful,
I love those kinds of trips, just stopping off at a service station is
an adventure”.
What a wonderful attitude to have about life.
Each and everything we do, even the mundane things, can be approach as
an adventure. A new experience in a new moment in life.
So
with this thought in mind I offer you the idea of approaching
everything in life as an adventure, of seeing the new in the everyday,
of being so present that it will feel like new.
Happy August everyone, have great adventures and I’ll see you in September
Much love
Jessica
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You may have read or heard of the work of Byron Katie in her book
Loving What Is. In it she talks about how we fight the reality of
certain situations when all the evidence in front of our eyes is to the
opposite.
I saw a huge example of this happening this week when
a friend called to ask for help as an old partner had come back into
her life and was refusing to leave her house. Not only refusing to
leave but also refusing to accept that a long-standing relationship was
over. We went along to help mediate the situation and it was painful to
watch someone in such distress as they fought with reality. He stood
there and kept repeating what he wanted to believe rather than what was
the truth, and I saw that he thought if he said it often enough it
would become true. It was such a stark illustration of how powerful our
minds can be when we get hold of an idea. Just a as dog worries at a
bone our minds tussle with a thought and cannot accept what is
happening in plain sight.
What was challenging in this situation
was that however the facts were presented, whatever way we tried to
help him see that what he wanted was simply not going happen his mind
would not let him hear it. He was deaf to what was obvious to others
around him. It was like he was fighting blindfolded, his thoughts
blinding him to what was true. It gave me a great insight into how
intractable we can be as human beings. I saw how strong our ability is
to fight with the reality of a situation and how negative an effect
that can have on our lives.
By creating this fight sure, we
cause problems for others like my friend, but even more we create
problems and negativity for ourselves. The pain is ours, the stress and
anxiety is ours, and the fear and anger is all ours. And, we have
created it through our refusal to accept what is.
It was real
reminder to be vigilant for where I fight reality, to watch out for
those times that I am shouting NO at something that simply is. Instead
I want to be more open to working with reality rather than fighting it.
Yesterday I had one of those days that I might have fought with
in the past, hassly stuff like cars breaking down and not having the
right papers in the car. In the past I would have had a right old rant,
instead, we took deep breaths, worked with what was happening and in
the end it all turned out well and really easily. A good start to a new
resolution.
Have you had situations recently where you’ve been
fighting with what is? Can you see a way you could stop resisting and
start working with rather than against? Please do share your
experiences with others; it is hearing how others handle these kinds of
situations that we all learn.
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I was thinking about what has been a recurrent theme this week with my
clients as that often informs the content of this blog. There didn’t
seem to be one specific idea but as I thought about it more deeply what
did seem highlighted was the theme of being true to you.
With
one person it was being true to themselves in following a strong gut
feeling, an intuition, that although would create a tricky conversation
would, in the end, save hours or even years of heartbreak.
With
another it was learning to be open and honest in conversation, no more
hesitant speaking thinking they were being clear but in fact were
smudging what was being said for fear of a consequence. This person had
learnt that in fact it made life much easier when they spoke out
clearly and confidently. It saved ruffled feathers and made work much
more efficient and fun. And, it wasn’t so scary as originally thought.
Again this was an illustration of being true to ourselves.
Another
person learnt that if they stayed open and didn’t play the ‘pleasing
others’ game they drew towards them genuine and loving people. In this
they had managed to break and old pattern of unavailable but needy
people in their life and draw in new people who resonated with their
new open way of being.
In all these situations it illustrated
that if we allow old fears of being true to us, fears of us not being
enough get in the way, life can become complicated and unsatisfactory.
It shifts when we finally say I am great as I am and have no need to
hide any of me.
Are there bits of you hiding right now, playing
hide and seek? Could you let them out to play? Who would you draw into
your life if all of you showed up?
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