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articles:
Welcome to Paradise
At least that is what we think when we up sticks and move ourselves lock, stock and barrel to the beautiful, sunny, south of Spain. And, in some ways we are right - this is a paradisiacal place to live. However for some of us although the outer surroundings have changes dramatically, some inner questions still remain. Those questions that we thought might get answered by coming to live here actually haven't been answered, they just moved with us, hiding in one of those boxes that we left unpacked in the back room. And, for a while that was fine but once the initial excitement of a new home, new life recedes the box starts to clamour to be unpacked and we find that the same old issues that played out in our lives before, still exist, albeit in another surrounding.
Why is it? Why does this seem to be the case in so many people's lives? Well for one thing we have a set of beliefs and react to situations according to our patterns of behaviour. It is what we are made of. How many times have you done something and sworn that that was the last time you would ever do that, only to find yourself doing exactly the same thing the next day, week or month? These habitual patterns of behaviour follow us wherever we live, they seem ingrained in who we are. I have often heard people say, 'well, that's just who I am', and yes, it is just who you are but you also have the choice about who you are. You can change these beliefs and patterns and be the author of your life rather than the character that plays to a set script.
Many people start to work with a Life Coach because they want to live life fully rather than simply be alive. They want to have the kind of life that makes them want to jump out of bed in the morning with a purpose; to become more spontaneous so that they can take advantage of whatever life offers; to see opportunity even in the face of challenges. They want a full, joyful, purposeful life. I often speak with people who say yes, this is their desire, but they do not know how to make it happen, how to realise their dream. They cannot see how they can create it in their own lives; they can see how for others, sure that's easy, but not their own. Their own set of beliefs and patterns stop them from moving forward and doing it - the slogan 'Just do It' seems so unobtainable at that point. Other people I talk with know that something is missing but cannot quite get a handle on exactly what it is, the kind of 'aarrgghhhh', frustrated feeling of not even being able to put a name to it let alone work towards doing it.
This is where the Life Coach comes in. Life Coaching - which evolved in the States in the 80's as Therapists realised that there was often a need to look at the whole person rather than one specific neurosis - has become popular in the Europe in recent years. It differs from Counselling or Therapy in that it starts from where you are and moves you forward rather than looking back into your past and dealing with old issues. Sometimes when working with a Life Coach old issues can arise and if that were the case then the Coach would suggest you work with a qualified counsellor. Life Coaching is a dynamic interaction between the coach and the client in which the client is on a road of self-discovery, looking at the beliefs they hold, becoming empowered to make clear, enthused decisions. The Coach is there to guide the process, help by giving insight and inspiration and support the client to ensure that they reach their chosen goal. Part of this will include moving past the challenges and hurdles that often appear at times of change that, if one was working alone, would be the stumbling block of failure.
People come to a coach with a wide spectrum of desire for change, two cases come to mind. A woman had reached her middle forties and had flitted from one job to another without ever really finding out what work would make her feel fulfilled. By using a series of exercises that identified both her passion in life and the set of skills that she had acquired along the way, we worked out that in fact she really was passionately interested in all things ecological and that her main skill that she most enjoyed was selling. When we discussed this she was really surprised as she had never thought of herself in that light but the idea of combining the two areas made her feel excited about work for the first time. And that's the key, each of us has all our own answers within - I ask the right questions at the right time and help clarify the answers.
Another person I worked with came to me because of a desire for balance in life. At first this seemed vague, rather like the 'aarrgghhhh' feeling I mentioned above. After a series of discussions it became clear that what was really needed was space. Space to have quiet time, to follow other interests, to re-examine who she was and what was important to her. Life had become so work orientated, so full, that although she liked the work and didn't want to change it, she found that work alone no longer fulfilled her. As the weeks went by we explored different ways to make space in life and she used this for many new interests and gradually balance was restored.
As a Coach I am dedicated to you and your success - it doesn't matter what area of life it may be - work, lifestyle, relationships, purpose - success in anything is always sweet. Have you tasted it recently?
Previously Printed in Nerja Essential Feb 2003
Life & Lifestyle:
• Fulfilment – The Key To Our Happiness
• What's Yours? Another Take on New Year's Resolutions
Relationships:
Career:
• Visualisation – The Career Turbo Charger
• Overcoming The Hurdles When Changing Career